Supporting Media, one Policy (and Rap) at a Time   tagged UPMUNC News, Resolutions

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And... UNESCO's on a roll!

UNESCO
Resolution 1.2
Topic: Securing the safety and rights of journalists and combating impunity
Sponsors: Sweden, Morocco, Lil’ Netherlandz (Sudan), Romania
Signatories: Yo’ mama.

Stressing the importance that journalists are not people and are worth less than real human beings;
Emphasizing that NGOs will never create bias on a journalistic organization;

Restricting the freedom of speech and opinion;

Promoting UN bodies to non-humanitarian efforts;

Stressing the mutilation, preferably genital, of journalists;

Restricting the freedom of speech and opinion;

The United Nations Educational, Science and Cultural organization hereby:

1. Recommends stronger laws to censor media through any means deemed appropriate by their respective country:
  a) By any means allows the country to enforce torture through the listening of country music
    a) The music does not include Taylor Swift;

2. Strips all previous UN protection laws for journalists to deter the advancement of the press. Protected laws of individual countries will be challenged at an ulterior summit to be held at the Hefner Residence in California, USA;

3. Understands that Lil' Netherlandz (Sudan's) position is to find the terrorist groups [rightfully so] targeting Katie Couric;

4. Recognizes that the only way to combat the "War on Journalists" is with the help of Quailman;

5. Approves of the very loose wristbands at the cocktail party;

6. Reminds that Iraq is present.

But wait - Romania has a rhyme to add (actually presented as a speech):

Stealing songs and movies is not cool
if you do that, you'll be a fool
it hurts artists and music companies
the only way to help them is to pay a fee
so don't be cheap, don't be whack
digital piracy is crazier than crack
it calls upon all nations to make a change
for the ways that we can help is in a great range
if you do as follows, you'll aid economies
it only takes a little of your monies
so make some straight laws
which have some claws
enforce your policies
that is the key!
if you do these things
then everyone can sing.